life, mind & insides1 Comment

so i broke my ankle…

Briar

I broke my ankle. In three places. And dislocated it. And tonight is my tenth night in a row in Auckland Hospital. I arrived in an ambulance on a Wednesday. I was meant to be flying to Honiara on the first Friday. I’d be back by now if I’d gone. I was meant to be hosting a clothing swap today. And I’m meant to be flying to Wellington on Wednesday. I had an operation the day before yesterday. I lay face-down on the table for as long as it took, but I don’t remember that part. They repositioned me while … Continue reading so i broke my ankle…

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new work – atlas/pantograph punch

Briar

Exciting developments in writing life, one of which is a long time coming in a couple of ways. In the more general, longer term way, I FINALLY have a creative piece in a print literary journal. Hurrah! In the specific, shorter term way, I submitted this piece over a year ago, and it was allocated to the second issue of the journal. But now, it’s out! Issue 2 of Atlas Literary Journal is out, and my piece, ‘Trading Pain’ is in it. It’s about hospital and scary things like emergency surgery and ketamine and nasogastric tubes. I believe it’s being … Continue reading new work – atlas/pantograph punch

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Fatigue

Briar

  Just because you have objective truths fuelling your fatigue doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I am in remission, in essence. But that doesn’t mean that I’m healthy. It means that my CRP levels are acceptable. My ferritin isn’t too bad. I don’t have urgency that inhibits my movements day-to-day. I go to the bathroom more than average but that’s partly because I have less intestine than average.  Four or five trips a day is fine for me. There’s no blood, no mucous, infrequent cramps, relatively infrequent full-blown diarrhoea. But my bones ache. Arthritis can be a secondary … Continue reading Fatigue

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The first time

Briar

I was going through my old Tumblr to find my go-to chocolate cake recipe, and stumbled upon this… my first ever IBD-related blog post, I suspect. 25 May 2011. I thought I’d post it here for posterity. Those were the days… incredible pain on the daily, uncontrollable urgency, no painkillers, incapable of properly attending lectures. But also, relatively simple meds with less impact on my total system. No surgery, no steroids, no biologics. Not even my full-blown diagnosis yet. Anyway, without further ado, here’s 20-year-old Briar’s words about IBD:   Last December, after various fun filled tests, I was diagnosed … Continue reading The first time

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magic juice – adalimumab adventures

Briar

I remembered that I am very nearly due for my next jab, and realised that I’m all out of meds. I’m not very good at maintaining a healthy array of fridgular options, but I can usually be depended upon to have a syringe or two of expensive medication tucked in between a Lush face mask and a block of Gouda on the edge of turning. *** Last time I picked up my Humira, I had the sudden thought that it’s the most expensive thing I ever put in my backpack these days. Two syringes technically cost more than my MacBook Air. … Continue reading magic juice – adalimumab adventures