ways in which [backdated nov 15th]

nothing left
nothing to come
not even a lingering sense
of success
everything taken
chewed up / spat out
in the most violent way
for nothing is more violent
than surprise

ways in which life is taken
when no dreams remain
and everything is dust
and the world is a shell
no solace in mortality
as some may claim
no pleasure in time
spent alone
when there is nothing
at the other end
to look forward to
once there were dreams
and they wavered
but they were accompanied
by hopes
that endured
but when both are lost
when the hoped for
support is taken
and each dream is extinguished
like stars going out
at the end of the world
when you know what you write
has no meaning
it is only words
it is only the ramblings
of a woman lost to coherency
that to even write woman hurts
for what it took to become
an adult
everything that adulthood is
defined by
she does not have
she may have never had it
or it may have been seized
like it was contraband
the whole time
and people tell her
to write her feelings out
like she’s sixteen on livejournal
all over again
instead of someone who once
hoped for success and
her name in raised relief
on a cardboard cover
so that she could run her finger
across the surface
and her effect on the world
was truly indelible
instead she will write words
so many words
none of them worthy of report
except to a therapist
or other individual
trained to cope with those
who have lost it all
a documentation of failure.

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