inch-long lines nearly faded now
/ wounds inflicted by spiral binding
/ at the start of semesters gone by
/ bookselling is a contact profession Continue reading A catalogue of my body’s scars (to date)
inch-long lines nearly faded now
I went back under shortly after the nurse spoke to me. There are no more memories of the post-surgical ward, where they watch you so carefully to make sure your body remembers how to breathe and pump blood and fire neurons and all the things that it might not be so crash hot at after however many hours of general anaesthetic. Eventually the machines attached to me and the observations taken by nurses came to an agreement. I was deemed fit to return to the land of the living. Continue reading Endurance
I broke my ankle. In three places. And dislocated it. And tonight is my tenth night in a row in Auckland Hospital. I arrived in an ambulance on a Wednesday. I was meant to be flying to Honiara on the first Friday. I’d be back by now if I’d gone. I was meant to be hosting a clothing swap today. And I’m meant to be flying to Wellington on Wednesday. I had an operation the day before yesterday. I lay face-down on the table for as long as it took, but I don’t remember that part. They repositioned me while … Continue reading so i broke my ankle…
Just because you have objective truths fuelling your fatigue doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I am in remission, in essence. But that doesn’t mean that I’m healthy. It means that my CRP levels are acceptable. My ferritin isn’t too bad. I don’t have urgency that inhibits my movements day-to-day. I go to the bathroom more than average but that’s partly because I have less intestine than average. Four or five trips a day is fine for me. There’s no blood, no mucous, infrequent cramps, relatively infrequent full-blown diarrhoea. But my bones ache. Arthritis can be a secondary … Continue reading Fatigue
I remembered that I am very nearly due for my next jab, and realised that I’m all out of meds. I’m not very good at maintaining a healthy array of fridgular options, but I can usually be depended upon to have a syringe or two of expensive medication tucked in between a Lush face mask and a block of Gouda on the edge of turning. *** Last time I picked up my Humira, I had the sudden thought that it’s the most expensive thing I ever put in my backpack these days. Two syringes technically cost more than my MacBook Air. … Continue reading magic juice – adalimumab adventures
It’s two years and a day since I had surgery. Unexpected, life-saving, emergency surgery. I was in incredible pain before it, and different kinds of incredible pain after it. Before the operation, I was doubled over. Stabbing sensations, rolling walls of abdominal agony that would come and crest and fall just because I moved a fraction of an inch too far. I didn’t know what was wrong. I mean, on a grand scale, I did, because when you’ve got Crohn’s, it’s a fair bet that what’s ailing you somewhere in the digestive tract is Crohn’s related. But it was a different kind … Continue reading marking time / health misadventures
My laptop has been dead for two months. I have no idea how much it will cost to fix, but I’m pretty confident that I can’t afford it. So I haven’t been writing, except here and there on paper. And at work, obviously, but that’s a little different from what I’d be doing in my off-time. But I’m going to try to get back on board, even if it means wearing out my thumbs. I have a phone. I have an internet connection. If I can stream Netflix to my TV from here, I can write a few blog posts … Continue reading 0
When I talk to people, I speak freely. I open my mouth, and words come – thoroughly rehearsed, to a point. Every time I tell my mirror about my life, it’s a slightly different rendition of the same song. This is how it goes.
In high school, I was a swot. I went to a posh school, I was a high achiever, I was a musician. I didn’t even think to be rebellious until my last year, and my rebellion was not of the extreme variety. Most of my free periods were taken up with scholarship classes, but swot that I was (am, at heart) I had far too many, and three sessions overlapped.
So on occasion, I would tell art history I was going to French, French I was going to Spanish, and Spanish I was going to art history, and spend the fifty minutes feeling guilty while scribbling rambling poems in my binder instead. I got a second piercing in one lobe. That was my acting out. Continue reading “The Crohn’s Saga (to date)”
We have heard this morning about new developments within TPPA talks, after several days of delays brought about by continued discussion on various topics, including dairy, the automotive industry, and biologic medications. People understand what dairy means to New Zealand, and what the automotive industry means to other players in the TPPA, but ‘biologic’ is something of a mystery word. Some articles refer to cancer sufferers, some go into no detail at all, just that word, ‘biologic’. It seems like it’s important for people to understand the significance of biologic medication for individuals with a variety of different conditions – … Continue reading Small Mercies – TPPA discussions and biologics
I’ve been so dreadful at maintaining this lately. Life is busy, and it’s winter. Combine those two things with an eternally uncooperative immune system and chronic blah-blah-blah and I’ve been pretty exhausted when I’ve been in a position to write things. Which is a pain, both for my disposable income and my general creative juices. So, an update: In curly health news! I have written a thing for the Crohn’s & Colitis NZ website about my experience living with IBD. I also spoke last week at a meeting of Inner Wheel (a women’s branch of Rotary), along with Brian Poole, the chairman of … Continue reading Shouts from the void…