I was going through my old Tumblr to find my go-to chocolate cake recipe, and stumbled upon this… my first ever IBD-related blog post, I suspect. 25 May 2011. I thought I’d post it here for posterity. Those were the days… incredible pain on the daily, uncontrollable urgency, no painkillers, incapable of properly attending lectures. But also, relatively simple meds with less impact on my total system. No surgery, no steroids, no biologics. Not even my full-blown diagnosis yet. Anyway, without further ado, here’s 20-year-old Briar’s words about IBD: Last December, after various fun filled tests, I was diagnosed … Continue reading The first time
I remembered that I am very nearly due for my next jab, and realised that I’m all out of meds. I’m not very good at maintaining a healthy array of fridgular options, but I can usually be depended upon to have a syringe or two of expensive medication tucked in between a Lush face mask and a block of Gouda on the edge of turning. *** Last time I picked up my Humira, I had the sudden thought that it’s the most expensive thing I ever put in my backpack these days. Two syringes technically cost more than my MacBook Air. … Continue reading magic juice – adalimumab adventures
I’ve been so dreadful at maintaining this lately. Life is busy, and it’s winter. Combine those two things with an eternally uncooperative immune system and chronic blah-blah-blah and I’ve been pretty exhausted when I’ve been in a position to write things. Which is a pain, both for my disposable income and my general creative juices. So, an update: In curly health news! I have written a thing for the Crohn’s & Colitis NZ website about my experience living with IBD. I also spoke last week at a meeting of Inner Wheel (a women’s branch of Rotary), along with Brian Poole, the chairman of … Continue reading Shouts from the void…
Pain. Drowning crinkle-cut curled-up flesh in whitest milk. Obligation lifts the cup, pours it in. No foil-wrapped magic tricks want to have anything to do with it; the capsule sinks below the surface before it can ignite. Flickers as a match might, but with the untiring power of the glowing ember. No end in sight. The worst days were better, because hope was still cradled that the broken parts could be cut away and mended, dead branches and grafts. But the poison is in the tree and eventually there will be nothing left but dried parts broken on the forest floor. All … Continue reading curled-up flesh
It is May 19th – at least in New Zealand, it is. On this day, the following things have happened throughout history Anne Boleyn was beheaded (1536) Nellie Melba, the soprano and namesake of a delicious dessert, was born (1861) Oscar Wilde was released from prison (1897) Pol Pot, leader of the Khmer Rouge and totalitarian dictator of Cambodia, was born (1925) André René Roussimoff, AKA André the Giant, was born (1946) Marilyn Monroe sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to JFK (1962) Tu’i Malila , the world’s oldest known tortoise died at 188 years old (1965) Jodi Picoult, Queen of Depressive Chick Lit, … Continue reading world IBD day
increasingly disjointed feelings about YA genre trends. Continue reading the teenage dream?
i do not want sympathy
i just want to be better /
i want to not have to use this page
as a diary or a one-sided counsel Continue reading held
Here are some numbers – I’m 23 years old. I’ve been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis for a smidge over two and a half years. I’ve had IBD-type symptoms for 4-5 years. And in 18 days, I’ll be getting a partial colectomy. Yes folks, I’m booked for surgery. September 11th, of all days. I will be heading out to the Manukau Surgery Centre, and I’ll be there for at least 3-4 days. Approximately a third of my large bowel will be removed – though they won’t know for sure until they’re going in, of course – my last scope was in … Continue reading the official countdown begins
Ew. I don’t even want to think about what something IBD-flavoured would taste like. Yeah, let’s not go there. Instead, let’s go onwards from shitty titles (HA!) and examine the matter at hand. It’s been a while since I made a health related post, so here’s an update. Maybe this radio silence led you to believe that all was well in the Raw Library intestinal tract? Sort of. Not really. I wish. See, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m on an uber-cocktail of meds for my merciless colon’s deathwish. No prednisone anymore, thank god, and I don’t think I can handle … Continue reading We interrupt your regular writing programme for an IBD-flavoured update!
I had a moment of terror last night – woken up at 2:30 by my insides, for the first time in a while. Pain, not the worst I’ve ever had, certainly, but decidedly unpleasant pain. Naturally, I went to the bathroom. Spent 20 minutes alternating between almost-acceptable and agony, and I’m not quite sure whether the tears were from the pain, or the frustration, or a combination. My money’s on the latter. But with tramadol, the pain subsided. I managed to sleep, fitfully, mind you, but some sleep was had. There was no blood – both good and bad, I suppose, because … Continue reading constant vigilance