Just because you have objective truths fuelling your fatigue doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I am in remission, in essence. But that doesn’t mean that I’m healthy. It means that my CRP levels are acceptable. My ferritin isn’t too bad. I don’t have urgency that inhibits my movements day-to-day. I go to the bathroom more than average but that’s partly because I have less intestine than average.  Four or five trips a day is fine for me. There’s no blood, no mucous, infrequent cramps, relatively infrequent full-blown diarrhoea. But my bones ache. Arthritis can be a secondary … Continue reading Fatigue

an ode to blood and guts

and the blood always blood it comes and it goes but it’s always back and the pain how one deludes oneself into rationalizing it until it returns and it twists between organs and connective tissue and the prisons of different sorts small rooms boxes, suffocating and the mind and the belly and the fact that you can’t sever the connection no epidural to be given as in childbirth no window of hours or of days before it will be gone women will scoff yet i would trade them with absolutely certainty i will take your pain and the knowledge of … Continue reading an ode to blood and guts