marking time / health misadventures

It’s two years and a day since I had surgery. Unexpected, life-saving, emergency surgery. I was in incredible pain before it, and different kinds of incredible pain after it. Before the operation, I was doubled over. Stabbing sensations, rolling walls of abdominal agony that would come and crest and fall just because I moved a fraction of an inch too far. I didn’t know what was wrong. I mean, on a grand scale, I did, because when you’ve got Crohn’s, it’s a fair bet that what’s ailing you somewhere in the digestive tract is Crohn’s related. But it was a different kind … Continue reading marking time / health misadventures

curled-up flesh

Pain. Drowning  crinkle-cut curled-up flesh in whitest milk. Obligation lifts the cup, pours it in. No foil-wrapped magic tricks want to have anything to do with it; the capsule sinks below the surface before it can ignite. Flickers as a match might, but with the untiring power of the glowing ember. No end in sight. The worst days were better, because hope was still cradled that the broken parts could be cut away and mended, dead branches and grafts. But the poison is in the tree and eventually there will be nothing left but dried parts broken on the forest floor. All … Continue reading curled-up flesh

world IBD day

It is May 19th – at least in New Zealand, it is. On this day, the following things have happened throughout history Anne Boleyn was beheaded (1536) Nellie Melba, the soprano and namesake of a delicious dessert, was born (1861) Oscar Wilde was released from prison (1897) Pol Pot, leader of the Khmer Rouge and totalitarian dictator of Cambodia, was born (1925) André René Roussimoff, AKA André the Giant, was born (1946) Marilyn Monroe sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to JFK (1962) Tu’i Malila , the world’s oldest known tortoise died at 188 years old (1965) Jodi Picoult, Queen of Depressive Chick Lit, … Continue reading world IBD day

sort of back in action! a photo/gif essay

hello, friends and followers! i’m properly back home now, after one night at my mum’s, since she’s closer to the clinic for follow up appointments, such as i had this morning, and with several more to come. yay! my energy and concentration levels are still a little lacking, so it may be a little while before i catch up on a whole week’s worth of poems, but hopefully i’ll get there. everything’s healing nicely, according to my nurses, and i decided last night that, in the grand tradition of naming body parts (you know some people do it), my temporary stoma is called buffy. because it’s … Continue reading sort of back in action! a photo/gif essay

the official countdown begins

Here are some numbers – I’m 23 years old. I’ve been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis for a smidge over two and a half years. I’ve had IBD-type symptoms for 4-5 years. And in 18 days, I’ll be getting a partial colectomy. Yes folks, I’m booked for surgery. September 11th, of all days. I will be heading out to the Manukau Surgery Centre, and I’ll be there for at least 3-4 days. Approximately a third of my large bowel will be removed – though they won’t know for sure until they’re going in, of course – my last scope was in … Continue reading the official countdown begins

things that are scary…

…having a colorectal surgeon tell you she does actually wonder whether it could be Crohn’s, not ulcerative colitis, because of the area of involvement in the lower colon. It’s more of a ‘we need to be sure before final surgical decisions are made’ type situation, because my case is evidently a bit peculiar. People heading in for colectomies don’t tend to be left-sided folks, like I am – so it’s unusual territory for the surgeon, apparently. The current plan is to take out most of the diseased section, rather than the whole-colon-except-a-rectal-stump as would be the usual course of action … Continue reading things that are scary…