Endurance

I went back under shortly after the nurse spoke to me. There are no more memories of the post-surgical ward, where they watch you so carefully to make sure your body remembers how to breathe and pump blood and fire neurons and all the things that it might not be so crash hot at after however many hours of general anaesthetic. Eventually the machines attached to me and the observations taken by nurses came to an agreement. I was deemed fit to return to the land of the living. Continue reading Endurance

the karaka tree

the karaka tree was full of berries we couldn’t eat them / orange and hard tiny cherries of another time crushed them between our fingers and rubbed into the grass I scared myself into scalding hot water / the only way to be sure that I would bite my nails chew a knuckle bored in the boughs die a¬†death of karaka-stained teeth a small blonde body in the jonquils Continue reading the karaka tree

fears

Tumblr has become my confession box; this place remains slightly more honed. But my most recent ‘yes, this deserves a frenzied Tumblr post’ moment seems to have grown and spread, an idea or a virus. The end result is what will tell the difference, I suppose, but ultimately it is this – what are the fears that are creeping on my mind, and will ¬†writing them out, sending them into the internet (so the world and the ether all at once, audience depending) change anything? Will admitting them in this space lighten the load, or simply provide more ammunition for … Continue reading fears